Background
Healing
Hi! Whatever brought you are here, you are welcome. I aim to be a healer. What does that mean? That means I aim to heal myself and to heal others. It means realizing that in truth, those things are one and the same, that the divisions that separate us are really an illusion, that the fact that we breathe the same air and have the same organs highlights our similarities, our same origins regardless of our individual differences, however stark they may seem.
Healing
Hi! Whatever brought you are here, you are welcome. I aim to be a healer. What does that mean? That means I aim to heal myself and to heal others. It means realizing that in truth, those things are one and the same, that the divisions that separate us are really an illusion, that the fact that we breathe the same air and have the same organs highlights our similarities, our same origins regardless of our individual differences, however stark they may seem.
In 2021, while in college, I had 50 panic attacks that lead to me going to the ER 5 times for physical symptoms that were very scary such as tachycardia (fast heart rate even at rest, for 2 hours), inability to swallow, intense pain, and dizziness. After many heart tests and over 20 doctors’ visits, clearly the issue was in the inability of my nervous system to feel safe and the symptoms, however alarming, “only” a side effect of that root cause.
I was then diagnosed with Panic Disorder, Complex PTSD, with elements of OCD, GAD (General Anxiety Disorder), and depression, And yet, I healed, with many of those symptoms now gone—although the healing never ends. I hope this can bring you hope that you can too.
The goal of 2022 for me became to heal myself so I would once again at some point in my life be able to heal others. This took the form of a lot of reading on psychology, spirituality, energy work, PTSD, Complex PTSD and trauma as well as many different ways of regulating the mind and the body, including yoga, holotropic breathwork, acupuncture, bodywork, hot-cold therapy, neurofeedback, EMDR / IFS, EFT, and Reiki.
I now hope to be able to help others heal, which I want to start by first sharing my own story— a story that I believe is not only my own story, but the story of generations in my family. A story the product of my genes and environment. And, a story that others may be able to relate to in some way, shape or form, to feel seen and heard by reading it. This is also why I decided to write this blog anonymously—so that you can read it while picturing yourself in certain situations, or not; so that you don’t feel that these experiences are restricted to a certain type of person, that the mind doesn’t start to label things as certain things, which it always does, such as “that’s not for me” or “I could never do that”.
I was then diagnosed with Panic Disorder, Complex PTSD, with elements of OCD, GAD (General Anxiety Disorder), and depression, And yet, I healed, with many of those symptoms now gone—although the healing never ends. I hope this can bring you hope that you can too.
The goal of 2022 for me became to heal myself so I would once again at some point in my life be able to heal others. This took the form of a lot of reading on psychology, spirituality, energy work, PTSD, Complex PTSD and trauma as well as many different ways of regulating the mind and the body, including yoga, holotropic breathwork, acupuncture, bodywork, hot-cold therapy, neurofeedback, EMDR / IFS, EFT, and Reiki.
I now hope to be able to help others heal, which I want to start by first sharing my own story— a story that I believe is not only my own story, but the story of generations in my family. A story the product of my genes and environment. And, a story that others may be able to relate to in some way, shape or form, to feel seen and heard by reading it. This is also why I decided to write this blog anonymously—so that you can read it while picturing yourself in certain situations, or not; so that you don’t feel that these experiences are restricted to a certain type of person, that the mind doesn’t start to label things as certain things, which it always does, such as “that’s not for me” or “I could never do that”.
